everyday public relations

Saying no has always been hard for me. There are a ton of possible reasons why this is true. I’m a girl, I had a crazy childhood, my mother is domineering, I’m a southerner, a people pleaser……etc.

Whatever the reason, being able to confidently say no to a superior is an important skill. It is not your boss’s job to know every mundane detail about how busy you are and every project you have on your plate. They see the end results and do not know, or care(most likely) about how that end comes about as long as you continue to smile and be productive.

So what happens when you are overloaded, stressed out and about to fall over from lack of food and the boss walks in 10 minutes before you are supposed to thankfully leave for the day and says, “oh by the way, can you present to the board tomorrow morning? You will need to talk for 20 minutes about the efficacy of using rubber suction cups on disentangling right whales” or some other highly complicated subject that is totally out of left field.

Now what?

On the one hand you are flattered that the boss obviously has a large amount of faith in your abilities. On the other, it is boy scout night, the baby is sick, your homework is behind and you haven’t spent any alone time with the hubby in weeks. You simply do not have time to do the research needed.

Obviously this seems like a silly premise, but I promise you there are people everywhere who know exactly what I am talking about. And I am not alone. I posted a poll on LinkedIn asking professionals everywhere how they say no. (You can take it to and I will post the final results right here next week. )

Know what I have found out so far? Girls are more likely to make up an excuse, rather than say no. Come on girls!!! That is exactly the wrong thing to do. Very few of us are good liars and in most cases, the excuse will come out sounding flimsy. Not a great career move.
So how DO you say no to the boss? Here is what I have learned so far. Put these tips to use and they just might gain you a little respect as well as help you build your confidence in the work place.

1. Tell yourself everyday that you are a good employee and are worthy of having respect and adequate notice from the boss.

2. When given a task that you simply can’t do, do not lie, make excuses or just suck it up. Your boss is human too, (at least most of them are). They have a life and a career and will understand, if you are up front and honest.

3. Most requests are simply that,a request. Unless you are in national security, you rarely receive orders. You can explain why you can’t complete the task, but even that is not always needed. For the most part, he or she will simply go on down the line to the next person.

4. Have a back-up colleague in the office. It is so nice to know when someone has your back. Keep up with what each other is doing and then when you can’t help your boss, be able to suggest someone else who can. (Just know that they will do the same)

Remember, there is no reason to be continuously stressed and overloaded because you are afraid of what your boss will say. If you are doing your job to the best of your ability, then there should be no problem with turning down a request every now and then. Your boss will respect you for standing up for yourself (great career move).It will make you more confident, and more productive, as your work will be higher quality if you are concentrating fully on 3 projects instead of rushing to complete 5.

So how do you say no? Take the poll .

Today’s post was contributed by guest blogger, Milena Thomas. Thomas blogs about life, marriage, economics, and politics at Quiet the Thunder and Brazen Careerist. She is a wife, grad student in finance and economics, professional singer and voice teacher.

Enjoy!

I started blogging a little over a year ago, and I fell in love with it. Tiffany Monhollon of Personal PR describes blogging as, “unlike any other form of expression on earth…” Little by little, her sentiment has won me over. Blogging is incredible, precisely because it has expanded the ability for anyone to connect with total strangers, on a personal and in-depth level, on a wide variety of topics. How else would an Estonian man Google “is marriage overrated,” find my rant on the topic, and engage in significant discussion? How else would reading Penelope Trunk’s blog have led to fundamental changes in my thoughts about what a career can be, leading to quitting my job, and even meeting with her last week?

Blogging, and other forms of ultra-fast electronic media have expanded our communicative abilities, but I wonder if they have done much for expanding our minds. While I think it is wonderful bloggers need no credentials, it doesn’t do much for those who blog without authority or substance, and for readers who absorb their output at face value. I also think that attention spans have shortened, and the satisfaction from delving deeply into topics has been replaced by micro-blogging jollies on Twitter. I find that the internet sometimes becomes an echo chamber where the loudest and most obnoxious voices drown out others.

A few months ago, I naively decided to explore one of the most controversial topics of all time on my blog: abortion. I thought I was putting a unique spin on the subject, questioning whether veganism and pro-choice philosophies can truly coincide with one another. I also thought it sparked some healthy debate, but I quickly learned that most people either agreed with my views, or decried my existence. Still, I was determined to speak my mind and try to foster intelligent, rational dialogue. From that point, I embarked week after week presenting more hot topics for discussion. I was enthralled with the process. As soon as I’d release a post, it was like a blood scent was released into the blogosphere – the hounds came trampling and baying at the tree in which I quickly found shelter.

I don’t write about my experience to get sympathy for my politics, because I know there are plenty of my philosophical opponents hanging out in trees too. My point is that people can be nasty and narrow-minded. Things get ugly, personal, and communication shuts down – relegated to jabs and come-backs with no hope for resolution and understanding. The internet makes the hit-and-run attack so easy, and so difficult to defend. I have never experienced a salon, but I think luxuriating with friends, a glass of wine and a philosophical topic would be a wonderful way to spend an evening. I wonder if we can capture that as bloggers? I think so. Despite internet dogs on the prowl, there are plenty of wonderful commentators who show they are capable of civil discussion, even when it leads to disagreement.

As bloggers, I think we have a right to tenaciously tear apart ideas – not people. What are your thoughts and experiences on blogging and public discourse? How can we foster intelligent discussion on any topic?

Probably one of the best PR and advertising campaigns of all time: Smoky the Bear.

I am a big supporter of prescribed fire. But you have to admit that this one image did more to set back the natural progression of species (plant and animal) evolution than most any other campaign in history….except maybe the cigarette campaign that convinced women that smoking was a sign of “Independence”……that is a hard choice….

Anyhow, I got to thinking, what are other campaigns that have been hugely sucessful? I am throwing this question out to all my fellow brazen bloggers as well as my new PR comrades. What are the best campaigns of all time, what sticks in your mind?

Let me know and I will include it in my next post!

There is a great article out in this month’s edition of Body and Soul magazine. The column by staffer Terri Trespicio details why it is important to cut yourself a little slack now and then.

Suffering from perfectionism myself, I was drawn to this article with a kind of fascination usually reserved for writing and re-writing and then writing again my blog posts

The point of the article is that there are steps we can take to break out of the perfectionist mind-set in order to empower our decisions so we can move forward with our lives both personally and professionally. Thanks to Terri for the great article.

Hopefully these things will help you as much as they did me.

1. Remove your mental filter. – Perfectionists often only hear the negative news, letting the positive reviews go in one ear and out the other. Try readjusting your mental sieve and allow some of the good stuff to stick
2. Discover the joys of getting it wrong. – Start looking at your flaws as opportunities for personal and professional growth. Nobody likes to be wrong but being able to accept and learn from mistakes will make you a better person both in and out of the boardroom. Dan Baker, Ph.D and co-author of What Happy Women Know, says this, “Think of making a mistake as paying tuition, once you’ve paid, you might as well learn the lesson.”
3. Compare yourself to others, realistically. –Maybe you do enough of this, but you probably don’t see others with the same foggy filter you see yourself with. Try taking notice of your peers. Do they take shorter/longer lunch breaks, make the occasional typo, and lock themselves out of their cars? If they are not perfect then why should you be.
4. Put people before things. – Put the people in your life before your stuff. This may seem like a no-brainer, but how often (and be honest here) do you find yourself late getting home again because you just had “one” more thing to get done at the office? How many relationships fizzle because one person is already married…to their job? It happens all the time so take a good look around now. If you log more hours at your desk than say the average mouse pad, you need more face time with your friends and family. Even if you are a busy CEO, taking some quality time will pay off in more ways than one as it is well established that happy workers (with happy families) are much more Productive, efficient and effective.
5. Prioritize your perfectionism. – This too is hard to hear, since with all perfectionists, of course we want to be great at everything. The article states this however, “Instead of trying to master everything, pick some things you want to excel in.” As Penelope Trunk once stated in her book Brazen Careerist: The New Rules for Success, (and I am most definitely paraphrasing) specialization is a wonderful thing. Being a little good at everything (or half-assed at everything) will not win you any awards and will definitely not fatten your wallet. Pick a few tasks/topics/subjects etc. you really excel at and work on them. For me it is persuasive advocacy writing and graphic design particularly in regards to wildlife publications. I am by no means a scientist and can’t list the statistics of every endangered species but I can create a really pretty picture with words and photos that will make even the most hardened ant-environmentalist want to read more.
6. Let a dirty sock be just a dirty sock. – Ahhh… the joys of a clean house. I admit that I am severely embarrassed to have people over to my house without say a month of advanced notice. Ok so maybe I am not that bad, but hey with three kids and both my partner and I working full time there is not a whole ton of time left over for house cleaning. The article claims that seeing small-scale messes as a personal failure is actually a cognitive disorder (do they make a pill specifically for the racing heart and cold sweaty palms I feel whenever I open my 10-year-old’s closet door, right before the entire contents come crashing down on my head? Probably) Anyhow, I take great pride in my work and my family and am starting to let go of the dirty sock as global disaster mindset. All three of my kids are turning out pretty darned well and I am succeeding at work and in my personal life so I must be doing something right, even if it’s not the laundry. Rather than react emotionally, see things like socks, dishes and dust for what they are, everyday facts of life that need tending to, not evidence of your incompetence.
7. Focus on wellness not weight. – Another big one for me. After three kids I will never pass as a super model but being okay with myself is a constant challenge. In addition to personal (sometimes unrealistic) goals, there is also the added pressure of working is a somewhat public industry. Appearance does matter in public relations, however taking care of your self, having trimmed neat nails and clean suitable clothes are a heck of a lot more important than being the one on the office with the tiniest waist.
8. Age gracefully. – A few wrinkles does not make you a bag lady, it adds character really! According to Baker what makes us truly attractive is more about confidence, carriage and hard-won wisdom rather than firm skin or how much you resemble a fashion model. And just a tip from me, those women who do go all out to look 20 years younger often come off as unprofessional or unapproachable or worse “that old woman from accounting with the peel on face and skin tight leopard-print skirt who gives me the creeps.” Don’t be that person.
9. Counter the negative with a positive. – This goes back to number one on the list. Often perfectionists only hear the bad things and assume they are doing it all wrong. In order to stop this kind of thinking, try to automatically counter your negative thoughts with three happy ones. As corny as it seems, even having a list works wonders when you are at risk of sliding into the dumps. My list is wallet sized and changes periodically, but serves to remind me that I am a good mom, a good writer and a successful businesswoman.
10. Kick black and white thinking to the curb.– Last of all get rid of the all or nothing mindset. There are shades of gray in just about every situation on Earth. Remind your self those temporary moments of insanity (having an extra dessert, a bad hair day or being 15 minutes late) does not mean you are fat or lazy or an incredible slacker. Give yourself credit for all you do right and understand that in the end we are all just human.

What do you do to beat your perfectionist tendencies? Does any one have some creative ideas or feel more should be added to the list? Send me a comment!

To read the entire article check out the June edition of Body and Soul Magazine.

I have noticed a ton of great posts lately that are dedicated to the subject of networking. I have said it before but I truly believe that in this world, especially in public relations it is indeed who you know that matters. It is also very important to keep in mind what networking can and can’t do for you.

Although I know this, sometimes I get so caught up with the craziness of work that I have to stop and go over the basics again, just to make sure I am being as efficient as I should be.

Here are a few refresher tips I have picked up in the last couple of weeks:

1. Get back to people in a timely manner – Even if it is just a quick email to let them know you got their message and will be responding soon. There is nothing worse than sending out a time sensitive message and then never getting an answer, or getting one way after the deadline.
2. Use online social networking resources like Facebook and LinkedIn. – They are absolutely essential to creating a personal brand that people will remember.
3. Maintain regular contact even if it is only a friendly hello. You want people to remember you and what you represent. Remember to help the people in your network. The golden rule and basic karma do apply, it will come back to you.
4. You are your brand and what you do outside the office matters. “Do you have a company bumper sticker on your car? Maybe you don’t want to flick that person off. Do you wear a t-shirt with your work logo on it? Perhaps you shouldn’t wear it when you go out to the bar.” (Rachel Robbins)
5. Don’t be afraid to ask for an introduction. You don’t want to be pushy, but you never know the contacts you are missing if you don’t ask. What’s the worse thing that could happen? They could say no….big deal. When given the chance to meet new people, jump at it. I have met some of the greatest contacts just by being open minded.
6. Post regular comments that are interesting and that serve to continue the conversation. Peruse the blogs you like on a regular basis and become a regular contributor. Better yet, start one of your own. If the author or anyone else responds to a comment you make, reply. Just be sure to post thoughtful and knowledgeable comments, never be nasty or post replies that will come back to bite you. (Bloggers Law) If they can….they will.
7. Use a multi-media approach to make your network more efficient. Sites like YouTube can help you do just that. “They say that “A picture is worth 1000 words,” but how much do you think a video of you is worth?…1,000,000 words? With video, it communicates your brand through a different medium…” (Scott Bradley)
8. Join professional interest groups like PRSA or online professional groups like Brazen Careerist. This is a great way to connect with like-minded professionals that may have similar questions. They also provide great feedback opportunities and are usually a little more in depth as far as for connecting, than sites such as Facebook.
9. Don’t stretch yourself too thin. Doing great at a few things looks a heck of a lot better than doing half-assed on a ton of things. Be aware of your responsibilities and if you think there might be any kind of professional conflict, stop and check it out before things get out of hand.
10. Accept that life is crazy and making a name for yourself and developing a successful career involves being a little imbalanced. It’s OK not to be a super-mom or dad.

Life is hectic, but it is also what you make of it. Get connected and get out there!

I spend my lunch hour nearly everyday right here at my desk. Not because I wouldn’t rather be in say, the break room, but because it is really the only time I have to cram in online research for my postings.

This past week has been crazy, but then every week is crazy if you are in PR. There is always some sort of “crisis” whether it is prescribed fire fallout, the drought; changes to hunting licenses or maybe the office fax is down AGAIN for the third time this week.

Anyways, if you have been following along then you know that I am working on improving my time management skills. One way I discovered is that while I eat my re-heated leftovers for lunch I can be checking my e-mail and cruising the blogs for interesting and useful information worthy of being passed on to my readers.

(By the way, the leftovers are much better than they sound, Thanks honey!)

Since my particular PR job requires that I be an environmental advocate (I know, tough sell right?) I am always looking for news items, new research, “green” advancements in technology, peace of mind etc. You get the picture.

I also cruise to find tidbits that will help my fellow new PR professionals as they make their way into the crazy world of work.

Just to provide a snapshot of what I’ve learned this week: Hopefully some of this will help you too!

First off, I apparently need to learn how to play cricket or else I will be forever doomed to boring American jobs with American bosses (probably male), who use ridiculous football metaphors. I think I will just work for myself, no sports knowledge required.

As for my future in PR, it appears that women do all the work, but receive less pay. This age-old argument has new research to back it up. A study from the National Association of Government Communicators says that while women dominate the communications industry they don’t dominate the pay scale. There are twice as many men in the top spots making between $110,000 and $150,000. In addition, our over-achiever nature will likely cause burn out if we are not vigilant. More than half of those surveyed do not believe they receive adequate compensation for the services they provide. This is nothing new women have been juggling career, children and community service for decades. Boy, wish I could get paid for all that laundry….

In the time-crunched world of public relations there is good news on the horizon. A four-day workweek will make us more productive and save the planet! (Wait a minute, why isn’t this a part of a presidential campaign?) I hope this catches on and that I wasn’t dreaming when I read that. I have been advocating for a shorter week for as long as I can remember. My idea never seemed to catch on though, could be the boss just didn’t get the playing hooky for better health campaign. At least now I know there are others out there just like me. On the other hand, if we shorten the workweek can we go ahead and extend the day to 36 hours? Maybe then I will actually get something done!

Green living full speed ahead. If you live in Seattle you may soon have to pay big bucks to use plastic grocery bags. The mayor wants to charge consumers a “bag fee”. On one level I think this is awesome. On the other, what will I use to line my trashcans? (a joke!)

Companies who dump sludge will soon have to answer for their misdeeds. More and more press is being dedicated to the effects of bio-accumulation. This particular study focuses on toxins in birds. If you are quick to dismiss it remember who resides at the top of the food chain. We truly are what we eat.

Finally, if you are still looking for a way to pass those long drawn out lunch minutes you could also: post a blog, call your mom, donate to charity online, pay bills (yuck!), water your plants, do a crossword puzzle, read the comics, take a walk, work on an invention, color a children’s menu, achieve world peace (if you’re ambitious) or if all else fails…..eat your lunch in the break room!

All of this brought to you in under an hour! Happy Lunch!

I am a card carrying, dues paying member of a professional group. In addition I participate as a committee member for an offshoot of said group called a professional interest section. Our executive board members are scattered all over the country, from Georgia to Wisconsin to Colorado to California and everywhere in between. Therefore, our monthly meetings are not accessible necessarily by a hop, skip and a jump to some sort of middle ground.

The answer to our location woes has been what many national corporations and organizations have long prescribed too, the conference call.

You know what I mean, three or more people scattered around the country all hovering over a speakerphone getting scratchy reception at best, and praying that you won’t be called on to contribute anything of real substance lest you make some sort of unforgivable gaffe that will be overheard by those with the real powers that be.

I take part in these fiascoes at least once a month. Do we accomplish anything? No.

Maybe it is unreasonable to expect a personal face to face meeting when you are scattered across hundreds or even thousands of miles. But it is my experience that there is absolutely nothing that can’t be accomplished with a conference call that couldn’t’be done with a series of emails. But let’s face it……the conference call isn’t going anywhere so…..let’s focus on at least making them more productive.

Be prepared! The scouts have it right; nothing will do more for your credible contribution than some good old fashioned brainstorming. If you are lucky enough to receive some type of agenda in advance, READ IT! That way you are not caught off guard and grasping at straws when your name is ultimately called upon for input.

Speak clearly. There is nothing worse than a handful of people all saying their version of “what?” in unison. This can be really bad when nobody has the courage to call out the garbled information, leaving the entire group to guess about the speaker’s intended message. Who suffers? Everybody, the company, the client, and ultimately your bottom line (meaning you!) unless of course you are independently wealthy and just don’t care. In that case, mumble away!

Stay in ONE location. I can’t tell you how annoying it is when a key member of the call is “commuting” between locations. I know we are all busy, but hey, you make the time for the call right? Then have enough respect for your fellow group members to sit still for the entire call rather than have the rest of us suffer through your signal dropping in and out (requiring us all to repeat ourselves a half-dozen times) or the sounds of car doors and the local traffic. At the very least, utilize the MUTE button if you can’t stay put.

Lastly, stay focused. Take notes and follow up immediately if there is something you don’t understand, or if you want to contribute something you were too dumbstruck to say during the call. Understandable if there is just so much background static that you are afraid of coming across like a chipmunk on steroids. (not the best reference but I love using that saying ever since I heard it, where else…on a conference call!)

I am a lifelong student and therefore I am always cruising for information. I love to learn and I love to read so the internet during my lunch break becomes my best friend, faithfully keeping me informed and on top of not only the news but new ideas and techniques I can apply to my own public relations work.

I have read so many good posts lately that are both informative and entertaining. So I thought I would follow my former professor’s (and blogging mentor) example and post a top ten of the best stuff I’ve seen the past few weeks.

1. Personal PR “Keeping the Conversation Going” (Tiffany Monhollon )
2. Young PR What’s in a name? “Moniker Maladies” (Paul Young)
3. The Corporate Hack (Matt and Jon)
4. Free isn’t always best (Sam Davidson)
5. Media Shift Idea Lab “Honor the Old Guard” (J.D. Lasica)
6. The Urban Muse – “Self Motivation” (Susan Johnston)
7. Modern Urbanite - “Too Quiet?”(Rebecca Thorman)
8. Dosh Dosh -”Empower your audience” (Maki)
9. Brazen Careerist – “Thanks Hacker, sort of….” (Penelope Trunk)
10. Scatterbox- “Denial to Disaster in 5 days” (Steven Silvers)

What good sites or blogs have you come across lately? How are they helping you in your everyday life, or in your career of choice be it Public Relations or something else. I would really like some feedback from both PR people and non-PR people; (didn’t I mention I love to learn?)

A special thanks to all the authors who contribute great content, keep it up!