Happily Ever After?
What I’ve learned about PR from being married
Being married is a job. Even if you are totally in love, there are days when you have to work at the relationship. People grow and change and if you don’t stay up to date, you may find yourself miserable or even alone.
Having a successful PR career is very much like a successful marriage, or any relationship really. It requires certain fundamental rules regarding social engagement and personal development. Here are a few tips I have picked up along the way.
1.Never take anything for granted – This I have learned the hard way. Just because your spouse loves you, doesn’t mean they should have to put up with a lifetime of bad behavior or neglect. Do this one too many times and you will lose big time.
PR takeaway – treat your clients the way you would a spouse/good friend. Never make assumptions based on past decisions. Your approach/campaign may be based on outdated company opinions, which just equates to wasted time and effort (read $$$). Always touch base and never do something “because that’s the way it has always been done.” Also take the time to catch up with clients other than a hurried email. A personal phone call can reap big rewards when it comes time for them to renew a contract or refer you to someone else. That personal touch may be what puts you over the top.
2.There is always room for improvement – Maybe you came into your marriage with the idea that you would handle all the finances because after all you have the MBA and that your significant other would cook because well, you can’t. Again, don’t assume. There are always opportunities for growth in a relationship, and maybe the love of your life can help you with that tricky financial problem you can’t solve. There is always room to improve and allowing others to help, even if it is “your” area of expertise can make you grow closer.
PR Takeaway –Don’t freak if your client comes back after you busted your butt with some critical feedback. Becoming defensive will not help your career and may alienate you from the account. Understand that constructive criticism, even if it comes from someone you consider to have NO knowledge of the subject matter, can be useful, often for that very reason. In PR we strive to understand our public. In my particular job, that means knowing what average Joe blow is thinking – so that means I do want to know what the bathroom attendant and the AC repair guy think. Even if I don’t agree.
3.Keep an open mind to new experiences – I never really thought much about foreign cinema and music until I met my husband. It isn’t that I actively disliked it or anything; I had just never been exposed and kind of had the idea that it was probably a little boring. Well, I was wrong. Now everything from Akira Kurosawa to Sigur Ròs fascinates me. I have learned that having an open mind has really allowed me to enjoy my life more fully, because of the incredible range of experiences that I might have missed had I not been willing to try them.
PR Takeaway- You (or more than likely your boss since you are reading this!) may be from the “old school” and may be hesitant to try new things such as social media technologies such as blogging and Youtube. They may worry about the long-term effectiveness of something they think of as “new-fangled”. Be patient and show them concrete examples of what being open minded can do for your company and for your clients. If you remain open minded and continue to learn and grow, your enthusiasm may begin to rub off on those with a narrower frame of reference.
4.Not everything is logical or fair – My father always told me that life isn’t fair, and he wasn’t kidding. There have many times in my relationship that I felt like stomping my foot or shaking my fist from frustration and screaming “It just isn’t fair!” Why does he make more money in an hour and I work seven days a week for less? Why does she get to sleep in everyday and never gains weight and I can look at a cookie and gain five pounds? Well, if you can get past the anger, you can start to look at what appear to be unfair situations as learning experiences. I know that may be a stretch for those who are hot-headed and emotional (with me among you) but if you can manage it, viewing these times that challenge our mental and emotional stamina can become a positive rather than a negative.
PR Takeaway – So you lost the account after you worked around the clock for three straight months; that sucks. Your budget was just yanked, a month before the project was supposed to happen and you have to be the bearer of bad news, rather than the higher-up who did the cutting; it’s awful. What can you learn from these situations? How to be a better leader, how to hone your communication skills, especially in crisis situations, and how to let go and move on. No, it isn’t easy, logical, or fair. But it is what it is and at the risk of sounding annoyingly Zen, you can’t affect it or direct it, so just accept it. Tomorrow is a new day.
5.Bad news travels faster and has more impact than good news – You forgot to pay a bill, pickup the kid’s prescription or write a thank you card you promised you’d write. Oops. Even if you scramble, your spouse will often know (it’s magic I swear) when you screw up much quicker than when you get it right. (Refer to tip #1 to avoid taking the good stuff for granted!) Bad news also has greater weight often – just look at the news. It is always the exceptions to the rules of society that are in the headlines; at least that is what we remember (if it bleeds, it leads right?) even if there is breaking news about the nonprofit that just reached their goal of reaching two million children via new books and school supplies. Nope, you will remember the killer in the woods. Same with marriage – during an argument, it is all the bad stuff you remember and none of the good stuff, even if you or your spouse is a saint (which you wouldn’t be arguing if you were.)
PR Takeaway – Know that bad news will get out and that it will spread like crazy, more so if you try to squelch it. A good PR person knows that admission goes further in helping you retain credibility than denials. (Remember Tylenol?) Always be truthful and take the time to remind your clients why they came to you in the first place. There is no shame in reminding them of all the things you have done right. Do not get bogged down though. Just like a good fight, let the anger go and the next day you may not even remember what you were arguing about. Move forward and continue putting out newsworthy information and just maybe as this guy says, people will quickly change the subject and you will be off the hot seat before you know it.
Hopefully these things will help you to become a better PR professional. I am by no means an expert, but these tips are certainly helping me to become a better communicator, both at work and at home. Think I missed one; want to add to the list? Post a comment!
