May 28 2008
The New Generation of Super Moms
In the current issue of the PRSA publication “Strategist” there is an entire article devoted to the concerns of having a family while building a career.
Assistant Professor of Public Relations and Journalism, Lorra M. Brown is of the opinion that motherhood poses significant obstacles for those of us looking to climb the ladder to public relations success. I have to admit, I agree with many of the points she makes. Yes there is guilt. Yes there is a certain amount of discrimination, especially in the PR world.
I admit my situation is far from the typical story, as I did not have children after entering the professional world, rather I began my career with three under my belt. Not something I would recommend in any case by the way. (Unless you just like doing things the hard way.)
Because I married young and foolishly and was divorced by age 21, my life took a slightly different track.
I didn’t start college until I was 22 years old and a single parent of one overly rambunctious little boy. Five years, a new spouse and two more children later I graduated at the age of 27. Because of my circumstances I felt that I didn’t have time for internships and crappy “just-while-I’m-in college” jobs that involved many hours for little pay. After all I had a family to feed. To that end I sacrificed experience or what some call “paying your dues” to try and get a jump on my career.
So I did what any woman in my situation would do. I did it all. I worked full time, went to school full time and managed to make it to nearly every one of my son’s baseball games. When it came time for me to graduate college and get a real job, I figured the transition would be easy. After all I had been working a real job albeit not in my desired field for nearly three years. How hard could it be?
Turns out, very hard.
I am sure there are many companies out there who would not hold the existence of three children against an interview candidate…. they have to exist, maybe I just didn’t meet them for the first six months I interviewed.
There is a law that states that you can’t discriminate based upon things like marital status or the number of children one might have. I never thought that it would happen to me and never was shy about mentioning my little darlings when prompted.
(**Please note that I was usually only prompted by having to explain my absence from the workforce due to maternity leave. It never occurred to me to lie and say I was traveling the world or some such nonsense.)
My husband eventually pointed out the error of my ways after one particularly bad interview in which I felt I was perfect for the job, but knew my resume was doomed for the circular file after my interviewers eyes glazed over after the mention of children. It was as if I had personally dumped a poopy diaper on her desk.
So what gives anyways? Yes being a mom often requires that I miss work for things like doctor appointments, baseball championships or other family obligations, but I find that since I started my job I miss no more work than my non-parent co-workers. At least I am not missing work to get my hair and nails done. I am very dedicated to my job and often pull overtime and work at home to make sure the quality of my work does not suffer.
I am lucky to have found an employer in the nonprofit sector that supports moms in the workforce although I will admit I probably make a good bit less than my counterparts in the corporate world. Most of us here have children, which certainly makes it easier to run home for a three year old with an ear infection or an acorn up his nose.
I still try to be a super mom, keeping up with the housework while working a 60-hour a week job and keeping up with baseball and boy scouts. I often bring work home. Some people ask how I do it but to me it is the way it has always been. Maybe those in my generation are used to doing it all, the masters of the multi-task. We don’t hesitate to work, have a family, run a blog, and go to school. It is all a part of our everyday lives.
I think that being a super mom is no longer about being a super executive while getting dinner on the table every night. It is more about doing the things you want, when you want and still maintaining a quality of life i.e. working. I applaud the younger generation that puts having a family on an equal footing with having a career. Both are important but it takes a strong person to maintain the balance. Our generation is full of just that type of people.
Lastly, there is a saying that behind every great man is a great woman…well I think the opposite is also true. I couldn’t be successful without my supportive hubby. Thanks for letting my inner super mom shine through.
